Is life a Competition?

I just don't know what I'm thinking right now, but all I'm terrified with is my feelings right now. 

I sense there's something caught up in my chest, but I can't seem to be more than aware and could only put it to rest.

I can barely feel my heart beating in my palms, my hands strangling my throat, and my feet stomping on my head.

This life's never going to change. No matter how hard I think things through. I'm getting nowhere.

I just need to know one thing. Is living all about winning and losing? Who rises and who falls? Who makes it to the top and who sinks to the bottom?

I wonder if there’s somebody out there who feels like this at times, or perhaps once. How relieving it would be, just to know I’m not alone, or at least not this quite.